This is a bit of a braggart post. My nine year old daughter Haley opened up her school zone last night on my laptop and was tweaking her “Soup”write up she said. I was reading it and I was instantly blown away!
She is so imaginative and descriptive. BTW she doesn’t even like carrots (cooked) and she considers Campbells original chicken noodle soup to be gourmet.
Needless to say I am impressed. I think she is a beautiful young writer. She sings, dances, is learning piano, plays roller derby. She is definitely well rounded.
Very little of it comes from me but this one…..maybe!
My cat Aulie is over nine years old. We named her Aulie because my husband picked her up on the side of the Highway when she was just a wee kitten in a place called Aulac, New Brunswick. I didn’t consider myself much of a cat person but my youngest Haley was just a baby when Kirk called to say he had rescued this kitten someone had thrown out of a moving vehicle. She was much too young to be taken from her mother but I guess the disgusting people that disposed of her like she was yesterdays trash didn’t much care.
My husband stopped the truck and trailers he was hauling, a set of Seaboard B-trains loaded with fuel and ran down the dark highway to scoop up the wounded, scared kitten. Although she was tiny and her face was beat up she was a beautiful kitten and he loved her instantly. She didn’t share the same sentiment.
We had Aulie vet checked and got the OK to bring her home to be part of our family. She chose me as her human and likes to shower me with attention. Aulie will on occasion warm to Kirk and the girls, mostly when she is hungry or just in the mood but generally she reserves all of her attention for me.
The problem is she does not like to be held or cuddled. She will lay on me and play with my hair or bang her head into my hands to force me to pet her but she does not like to be held. It’s weird, I always thought it had something to do with her early separation from her mother but some days I just think she is a jerk. She is controlling and likes that our relationship be on her terms only. She often sleeps with me when my husband is away working, sometimes she cannot get close enough to me but I cannot put her in my arms. I have often woke to find her watching me. It’s a little creepy but since I am her human I guess it’s normal…right??
A couple of days ago she got quite annoyed with me because I tried to cuddle her. The nerve of me, she stormed away all sullen and bitchy feline like. She also found a new “human” though it is not human at all. I think she truly feels that my Halloween Skello is her mama. She cuddles into her at every opportunity. I want to put Skello away till next year but I just cannot bare to break Aulie’s heart. If she is not eating or doing her lady business she is cuddling with Skello.
It really is the perfect relationship. She can get as close as she wants and Skello doesn’t try to hold or hinder her. Skello is there when she wants and never leaves. Right now she is cuddled up and as content as can be. I think Aulie has found her happy place. It looks like Skello is getting a Santa hat and sticking around!
My Grampy Miller used to say
Pink sky at night ‘sailors delight’
Pink sky in the morning ‘sailors heed warning’
It’s a crisp morning in the Capital city currently sitting at -11. The good news is that we are expecting sunshine and +4 and the morning sky looks incredible!
My youngest daughter and I just burst out into song singing Trooper “We’re here for a good time! ”
Sending them to school with a belly full of bacon and eggs and a smile.
I am a self diagnosed night owl and have a problem going to bed, in the same token when I stay up till all hours of the night (technically morning) I am not exactly excited in the morning when my alarm goes off. I do however have a great appreciation for the early morning hours the rare time I experience them. I like that the floor is cool on my feet and the weather hasn’t quite been decided. I like the smell of fresh brewed coffee and the warmth of a fuzzy robe. I like the sound of the traffic as early morning commuters start their day. However I also like the quiet of the late evening hours with pale shimmering moonlight struggling to peek through the slats in the blinds. I am writing by candlelight with the drone of classic rock radio in the background contemplating how I can manage to enjoy my late evenings and still manage to see early mornings. It seems a challenge, especially for someone like me who also enjoys sleep. It was 3 am this morning when I crawled into bed. I love that feeling of lying on my belly, stretching out my limbs and sinking into the warm comfort of my bed, quickly contemplating my day and taking a moment to smile and be thankful for the good parts.
This week I was extra thankful for a long weekend, it really seemed to last for an eternity. On Friday Morgan turned 14. Where does the time go? Hubby is away working so we decided to take off after the Remembrance day ceremony at school and have a girls fun day! Morgan had the opportunity to design her custom Antiks .
Antik Skate Boots are born of passion, design and quality, brought together by Mo Sanders aka “Quadzilla”, a lifetime skater who put his heart and soul into the process and design of the way roller skate boots were made. Morgan started Roller Derby when she was ten (almost 11) and these are her dream skates. They are pricey but I am told they are worth every penny.
After a day a Roller Skate shopping, clothes shopping and dinner we picked up a friend of hers and one of mine and we went to the local Roller Disco. My friend commented on how it appears that Morgan seems at home on skates and this is true. On skates she feels free and content. Haley as well loves the freedom of skating till your hearts content with disco lights and loud music. I admit it is hard not to get caught up in the atmosphere. I am not fearless like my girls but I strapped on a pair of vintage rentals and happily rolled around to classics such as I love Rock and Roll and Don’t Stop Believin. I really did have fun.
Morgan introduced me to the world of live streaming movies so I watched more movies in one weekend then I usually watch in a year. At one point Morgan and I were curled up in front of a roaring fire watching a romantic comedy while Haley gallivanted around the rec-room in her make-shift dance attire watching Dance Moms on YouTube and making her own dance routines. Then Haley would come hang with me while Morgan watched the WFTDA championships (Women’s Flat Track Roller Derby Assoc.).
I got to hug my girls, stay up late, sleep in, make good meals, read stories of war recollections out loud so that they can truly understand the meaning behind Remembrance Day and share some big hugs and laughter too. I got to talk to them candidly about current events, issues that they will one day face and give them my special blend of Mom wisdom that I am sure they cannot get enough of. Alas all good things must come to an end and without a fight to stay up late they snuggled into their beds and fell fast asleep.
I immediately missed my husband. I realized that though we texted in the morning and when he got off work we hadn’t spoken on the phone. By the time I realized how much I missed the sound of his voice it was way too late to call. He will be rising early as he always does, facing a frosty morning and a full workload.
So as my candle flickers, illuminating the darkness I am a little lonesome but very thankful for my husbands work ethic and dedication and how it affords me the time to raise our girls and not allow society to do all their rearing.
I am thankful for so many things, not the least of which being the remarkable sacrifices those who have served our country past and present have made so that we can enjoy our beautiful country and live free.
I used to work with a woman who used every single thing that happened in her life, directly related to her or not as an excuse to be miserable. She had been divorced for several years, so she used being single as a reason for her extreme unhappiness. She was a single mom to a daughter and she held onto her so tight that she sucked the life out of that relationship. Her daughter decided to start a new life in another Canadian city with her boyfriend and her Mother threw an absolute fit, even going as far as trying to guilt her daughter into staying. I silently cheered for the daughter as she told her Mom that it was her life and she was ready to spread her wings. Her mother called her several times a day and complained to her about her pathetic existence. It was sad really. One day I gently told her that she should take this as an opportunity to make changes to make herself happy. Get a hobby, meet people, better herself. She had a reason (very valid to herself) as to why all of those things were impossible. I find that a lot of people who are unhappy make excuses so they can stay that way. I have been guilty in the past of doing it myself.
My friend (you know who you are) told me a story tonight about how she felt bad because everyone in her peer group was getting married and because she was still single it made her feel very down on herself. We have had similar discussions in the past and I have given her some advice, not all ill received but there is always a “But”
I am not single so who am I to say but I am without my spouse a great deal of the time. My husband’s job keeps him away for weeks at a time so I know what it is like to not be a part of a couple all of the time. Our children keep me extremely busy and I dedicate a fair bit of time to ensuring they will be well-rounded, confident individuals. I also try to teach them a lot about independence because I believe very strongly that another person cannot make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. If you are not happy (and it’s not due to medical reasons) then you are the only one who can change it. There are a great deal of people who bring joy to my life, my husband and children included (most days) but none of them are responsible for my happiness. There was a time that I relied heavily on my husband for my happiness and believed that I was responsible for his. A relationship should definitely enhance you, make you better in ways but you do not become half of a person when you become half of a couple so therefore you are not half of a person when you are single. Nobody can make you feel small or insignificant without your permission.
I have a very wise friend whose favorite saying was “You are the architect of your own life, if you are not happy it is time to draw up new plans!” She did so in a very big way. She left a marriage that even though she would probably always hold a little love in her heart for him it wasn’t a relationship that brought her joy. She became a single Mom and a very important role model for her impressionable daughter. She went to school, worked long hours and sacrificed. She had a goal and she knew excuses were not going to pave a golden bridge for her. A job that she once loved took its toll on her. Though it was advantageous to her employer to have her take on the workload of three people for the price of one it was a situation that was not great for her physical or mental health but as a Mom it was easier for her to stay then rock the boat. It was EASIER but she didn’t stay, she researched and she sought out opportunities and now she wakes up everyday to oceans and palm trees and a job that has personal and professional rewards. She broke down barriers, fought stereotypes and became the exception not the rule. She is furthering her education and broadening her horizons. She is still single and it certainly doesn’t make her less of a person, she realizes that her happiness and her life are her own and that is a great thing! She just sent her baby girl off to University, in another country. She had the same initial meltdown and late night tears as I am sure every mother experiences when their nest is emptied but she also got to experience a great deal of pride because she raised a wonderfully bright young woman who loves and respects her mother and because of that she is unafraid to face the world and have her own experiences and seek her own happiness. She has raised a daughter that will not measure her self-worth by physical beauty or whether she is in a relationship or not. She will struggle and make mistakes but they won’t define her, they will present opportunities for her to learn from.
So when I hear someone who is single with no children tell me all the reasons they can’t I want shake them. You can. You are your biggest obstacle!!
There are non-single, parents every where that would LOVE to have your problems. You have the freedom to think of yourself, put your own needs first, have hobbies, explore interesting things! Opportunities don’t always fall out of the sky, sometimes we need to make them. Anything that requires effort has the potential for a great reward!
I think we need to stop short-changing ourselves, we need to believe that we are worthy of everything life has to offer. See the beauty in every day, see the bright side of things and take a couple of big steps outside of our comfort zone (often) and realize that life happens outside of the walls we have built around ourselves. See opportunities, see potential. Say yes more. Stomp on negativity and eliminate negative influences. Choose happiness. Seek reasons to feel good about yourself.
You do not need anyone to save you, but maybe you will find someone to laugh and share with while you are saving yourself!
BE FABULOUS!!!
“Your life is the fruit of your own doing, you have nobody to blame but yourself!” Joseph Carter”
Dancing in the rain! 