You’re Going to Miss This!

I am sitting here on this frigid and snowy winter night thinking how quickly the moments of your life sail by and all the things you wished away that now you would give anything to have back. When you are five you want to be ten and at ten you just want to be a teenager and when you become a teen you can’t wait to become an adult. Then it happens, you legally become an adult and you just want to be a kid, you want to have the freedom to make your own choices but none of the adult responsibilities that come along with that.

Your parents inevitably told you to be careful what you wish for, they told you how quick it would pass by and how you would long to have the time back. What did they know? Old fogies! THEY KNEW EVERYTHING!

I remember how on Holidays and Sunday dinners at my grandmothers they always had a kid table set up. I sat with my brothers and cousins eating my turkey dinner all young ladylike while Mike played hide the boogie in Gerry’s mashed potatoes and Gerry fell for every tall tale and dare my cousin Billy laid out on the table and then some. In the blink of eye and without any fanfare we graduated to the adult table. Apparently you get to be an adult at a certain age even if you are still putting peas up your nose and engaging in eating contests.

Over the years we thought of those missing from the dinner table, those we had lost to life’s cruel fate and those who were enjoying their own family dinners miles and miles away. Some of us had our own young families now, taking their place at the kids table where we once sat.

As the world turns and it continually does, life as we know it changes so quickly but one thing will always remain the same. The moments that at the time may seem like nothing special or out of the ordinary are the moments that we would do anything to have back.

Christmas at my Grandmothers house is the one thing that will always come to mind during the holidays. My mother comes from such a close-knit and special family. The thing I like the most is that they never save their affection for the holidays. It is there all year-long and they make a constant effort to be together, even now. The Holidays always felt extra special because we were dressed in our good clothes and we were told to be on our best behavior (some of us must have been deaf) and there was even more food then usual!

Christmas can be a stressful time of year for people, mostly because people have long ago forgotten why we have Christmas and it has become so commercialized that we break the bank trying to give everyone the perfect gift when the very best thing we can give to the people we love is our time. It is the one thing we always wish we had more of, time with our loved ones. So I say that this Christmas though I cannot see my family know that the most precious thing that I have ever gotten from you is the time we spent together, the laughs we shared and the memories we made. Know that a simple phone call, letter (or text if you are so inclined) means more to me then any gift possibly could.

Merry Christmas and enjoy this special time with your loved ones and if they are far away or not with you any longer give thanks for the time you shared.

Love Michelle xo

 

Kick those winter blues to the snowy curb.

I am writing this from snowy Edmonton, Alberta Canada where temperatures are well below freezing and we have piles of snow. The weather changed in the last week first getting unseasonably mild and dumping piles of snow on us and then we were blessed with a cold snap. My mood retaliated by putting me into hibernation mode. I spent whole days in my fuzzy blue robe, curled up with my fleece blanket watching movies. I kept the blinds closed to keep out the light and sipped coffee and baileys as if it was the magical cure for winter. I started preparing for hibernation around Thanksgiving (second week of October in Canada) by stuffing carbs into me till I had packed on some solid weight and I felt fatigued enough to sleep for months. With very few hours of daylight it seemed like the natural choice!

Unfortunately my kids were not loving he idea of winter hibernation. They have got shit to do and places to be and apparently I am their appointed chauffer. I am honestly tired of feeling tired and I miss those carefree days of summer. I miss the sun on my face, long days, bbqs, beachy music, flip flops, pretty colored cocktails with umbrellas in them and unmistakable song of the ice cream truck.

I am sitting here thinking about the best things about summer, trying to pinpoint what I miss the most and how I can use that to combat this “blue” feeling!

I miss sunshine
We are lucky to still get a fair bit of sunshine but when it is cold out it is harder and harder to get opportunities to be outside. As humans we make 90% of our vitamin D naturally by sunlight exposure to the skin.Humans spend less time in the sun today than at any point in human history – which is why more than 1 billion people worldwide are vitamin D deficient. While vitamin D supplements are an alternative when sunlight exposure is not available it is not natures intended way of producing the vitamin. I read recently that taking your vitamin D supplements with red wine makes them more soluble and the vitamin is better absorbed by the body. There was no scientific evidence to back up this theory but it is certainly worth a try 😉

Back yard BBqs and flip flops
I BBQ all year around. Last week I cleaned off two feet of snow from the BBq and grilled up some rally tasty rib eye steaks. The problem was putting my boots on and taking them off became tedious. Oh how I miss flip flops.

I paired the steak with a nice green salad and some grilled asparagus. The combination felt almost tropical! Cutting back on the junk food and processed foods in favor of lean meats and fruits and vegetables can help stabilize your mood and winter weight. Make small changes to your diet and you will notice your mood and energy level soar. Remember the benefits of Omega 3 fatty acids found naturally in fatty fish. There’s a neurotransmitter called serotonin in your body, and when you eat fatty fish, or take a high-quality fish oil supplement, your serotonin levels go up, which leads to your mood going up. Win win!!

The Sounds of Summer
Sometimes Nostalgia can stimulate the brain and compensate for what is missing. I often feel like that when listening to Summer songs. I am quite honestly not ready for Christmas music so I made my own summer mix. Sometimes I close my eyes and listen to a song that takes me back to a time when the windows are rolled down and my sunglasses are on, my hair blowing in the hot summer breeze…..

Activity
I imagine this is a hard one for everyone. We all know the benefits of daily exercise to our health and well being but in the cold weather we often opt to pass on our regular activities in favor a warm house, a TV and our PJs. Adding a little bit of daily activity can certainly boost your mood. For those of you who love to sled, ski, snowshoe….wonderful for you. My favorite winter activity is coming back indoors, closing the blinds and pretending it is not winter outside, maybe put on a Zac Brown CD and have a hoola hoop contest with my girls.

Pretty Feet
Remember walking around in sandals with pretty red toenails? There is very little motivation for pretty feet in the winter because barely anyone sees them and the bottoms of your feet get rough and winter worn. There is not a more perfect time to get a pedicure. Guaranteed to lift your mood. Go to a nice place, add a massage (sometimes they will serve you wine) RELAX…pretend you are on a beach!!

GET OUT/See People
One of the biggest differences between summer and winter is the amount of socializing we do. As the malls are filling up with Christmas shoppers take advantage of winter specials at museums and art galleries. Explore your city (or town) the way you always intended. Meet a friend for brunch, go to a matinee. To heck with Book Clubs,throw an unforgettable “SUMMER GET TOGETHER” in the winter. Have your guests dress summery, bring a tropical dish and serve summer inspired cocktails. CHEERS!!

Its hard to make big changes in the winter when the days are short and our energy is low. One little change here and there will leave you feeling happier and more energetic, therefore apt to follow through with more changes.

Have a happy winter and check out my summer inspired mix below. I am off to my tepid bath where I have Hawaiian leis hung over the shower curtain and the sweet sound of Jimmy Buffets Margaritaville playing on my Samsung Smart Phone. I even hid my salt shaker, therefore it’s lost (and there is a woman to blame!). I am going in topless because somehow I know that after too many Margaritas and a day of sunshine that is how I would end up!!

Tell me how you cope with winter!

Wanna be Startin Somethin

Me and the little assholes. Miss those little shits!

It was February 1984, the 29th to be exact. It was a leap year so there were 306 days left in that year. Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney were sitting pretty at the top of the Billboard Charts with their hit Say Say Say and Van Halen was waiting in the wings ready to JUMP.

I think fashion could easily be described as “anything goes” highlighted by mismatched colors and textures, cheap jewelry and lots of it, billowy, flowing, cropped and carefree. Hair was big and about to get bigger.

When you are ten Pop Culture is important and you look up to and emulate your role models. 1984 was a big year. Cyndi Lauper made the bold statement that “Girls just wanna have fun” Madonna burst onto the scene telling us it was sexy to be “Like A Virgin” Frankie goes to Hollywood and tells the world to “Relax” George Michaels Wham wants you to “Wake me Up Before you Go Go”, Prince had “Purple Rain” falling out of the sky and the big haired super couple of the year was Demi Moore and Emilio Estevez, I guess today they would be called De-milio. Michael Jackson starred in the Classic Pepsi commercial making Cream Soda so yesterday.

That morning I rose early and went down to our little work-out room. Aerobics was also big and I was donned in pink tights, a black leotard and leg warmers. I had a cotton head band, not really holding my hair back but it looked super cool. I looked very Olivia Newton-Johnish. I was excited because my Michael Jackson cassette was already loaded in my little black tape player and my blue puffy mats were arranged perfectly and I was all set to do my ten year old version of a Heavenly Bodies work out set to the tune of Wanna be Startin Something. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the work-out room to find all my MJ posters torn and hanging off the walls. I was devastated and I held back tears. My brothers were hiding around the corner stifling their childish giggles.

Little fuckers!! Had I been able to talk through my tears I would have told them to go jerk off in some socks or something!

So here I was in my ridiculous pink outfit, crying like a damn baby and my brothers were laughing at me. It was the worst day of my young life so far. I stomped up the stairs making sure that each step landed harder then the last and when I got to my bedroom I slammed the door and then I opened it and slammed it again, just in case everyone didn’t get it the first time.

I changed into my school clothes and dreaded spending a morning on math problems that at 39 I have never had cause to refer to. At some point during the day I passed both my brothers in the school hallway. The younger one was quiet and hung his head, not feeling like such a big man on his own. The older one was still incredibly smug and looked and me with a sneer.

My mother tried to make it better but in those days I liked to hold onto my surly anger. She must have spoken to my Dad because he came home with the medicine to bring my smile back. He brought a framed picture of Michael Jackson, better then all those torn posters put together, some silver sparkly MJ socks and an imitation of his famous silver glove. I was elated. How cool was I?

The little brats didn’t get anything. Na na na na

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Photo courtesy of bestappsforkids.com

The day was easy, it must have been Sunday morning or at least it felt like it. Easy Like Sunday Morning. I was around ten at the time and a gregarious and likeable child. I bounded out of my Holly Hobby room in my fuzzy slippers and the tantalizing smell of smoked bacon led me to our small kitchen. I remember that the kitchen appliances were an earthy green color. I remember simply because I like green and this is not relevant to my story whatsoever.

Moving along….
My mother was at the stove turning the bacon while my Dad waited anxiously to steal a cooked piece and excitably told my mother about his wild dream. It seemed silly but what did I know. He turned to me and smiled and said “ooOh Child, things are going to get easier!” I giggled. I thought things were already pretty easy. Besides brushing my teeth and remembering to pick up my dirty socks I didn’t have it so hard. What he said though reminded me of a song my Mom would sing to me. One time I had a horrible ear infection and the pain had me in tears. After giving me my banana flavored penicillin before bed she softly sang that song. My mother was tone deaf and had as much rhythm as our pasty white local librarian singing Abba in the talent competition during spring fling. Being ten though and loving my mother the way I did I felt like every time she opened her mouth it was like angels flew out!

So when my Dad excitably said that to me I knew immediately that something good was about to happen and I was Bustin Out at the seams hoping to get in on the secret before my brothers got up. My youngest brother slept like the dead and the other was at the stage where he spent a lot of time alone in his room with his Bo Derek Poster. My Mother said he was discovering himself, or exploring himself or some shit. I am not sure but his voice was beginning to sound weird and he never seemed to have any clean socks!

“Didn’t I blow your mind this time?” my Dad asked, slapping my Mom lovingly on her ass. It was times like these that I wondered if my mother ever got annoyed by my Dad’s never-ending, gigantic, best one yet plans. She continued to flip bacon and she smiled back at me and winked.

So it was over crisp bacon and scrambled eggs that I learned of our new fate. No more just Stayin Alive my Dad said, it was about time that we started living out our dreams. We were on a Love Rollercoaster and we were Born to run. So here we were, the five of us sitting around that laminate dining table on harvest gold vinyl chairs Reelin In the years.

“Mercy, mercy me!” my Mom exclaimed as my brother squeaked out his approval in a high pitched girly voice.

No more Workin for the man and wondering how you were going to rob Peter to pay Paul when Paul was flat broke. The news was like a Bridge over troubled water.

We were joining the CIRCUS!!

That very day we packed up our favorite things into our Ford Galaxy including my younger brothers sooky blanket, my older brothers Bo Derek Poster and a laundry basket full of dirty socks and of course my way too short draw-string corduroy pants and my most prized possession my glowing personality that would keep us happy for the long ride to the circus, wherever that was.

My Dad had the windows rolled down and he happily sang John Denver tunes as we put miles between us and responsibilities. Occasionally I would take a little break from amusing my family with my cute and wondrous chatter to daydream about what I was going to be in the circus. A Black Magic woman sounded like fun or maybe a Lion Tamer, an Acrobat or a Juggler. I was so excited I near peed my pants.

As we drove Into the Mystic I thought is it “Just My Imagination” because I said it before “Won’t get fooled again” but here we were driving that Ford Galaxy up my grandparents lane as my father sang along with Olivia Newton John on 8 track cassette.

So much for my dreams of being the worlds greatest illusionist, working with some of the most talented but undervalued humans ever. So much for dancing under the harvest moon in my bare feet with all the circus freaks and geeks. Alas though I was happy to hang out with my cousins and hover over the vent in my grandmothers room and spy on the adult conversation in the dining room below and stifle giggles every time my Aunt exclaimed “Good God what did you eat?” as my uncles famous farts escaped him and vibrated off the wood chair. Good times, perhaps it’s own type of circus.

Makes me miss those crazy farting buggers, every one of them.

THE SHACK

The Shack/The Missy Project

The Shack

Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

The Shack is not a book I would normally buy because it confronts the grief of a father (Mack) after the brutal murder of his young daughter. Having daughters it is a subject matter that I would normally back away from. I was with Haley at her School Book Fair and something drew me to it. I picked it up and put it down several times before deciding to take it home and spend an evening curled up reading.

The Shack confronts grief and heartache in a very real and relatable way. It explores the power of forgiveness, faith, hope, grace and love. It asks questions, it helps you seek and find answers, it shows you beauty and truth and for me reinforced some things that I believed to be true.

The Shack wrestles with the timeless question “Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?”

I became absorbed in this book and I found that the answers that Mack was seeking were often to questions I had asked myself. It took me on a brilliant journey, both compelling and daring, shining a spotlight on things we all struggle with, our faith, our beliefs, our shortcomings…

From beginning to end it painted a vivid picture of human emotion. Sometimes wonderfully eloquent and others deceptive and ugly.

I was captivated, I cried, I was angry, I was justified, I was redeemed, I passed judgment in haste, and I was enlightened.

It is a book that will weave it’s way into your heart and fill up all the cold and empty spaces. I believe in one way or another it will have an impact on you. Powerfully clarifying and gracefully simple, if you read it, you will be changed.

I felt compelled to join the Missy Project to get the word out about this fascinating tale. If you have read let me know what you thought or give it a read and let me know.

Michelle

The Shack/Missy project