Misery loves company but it won’t get mine- W.I.S.E. Project 2016

There are lessons I have learned in my life that I wish I had known much sooner. I guess we all have to put in the time and make the mistakes and then choose where to go from there. I know that my parents, especially my Mom,  made a great effort to share her wisdom and lead me in the right direction, the straying from the path and believing I was right was all my doing. Another point for Mom.

An important lesson that I finally learned is that as much as Misery loves company, it won’t be getting mine. Something inexplicably draws our young minds to drama and toxicity. Relationships and emotions are a funny thing, such a delicate balance between giving our support and taking the entire weight of others problems. Navigating this winding road of being a good mother, friend, co-worker and spouse but putting the right boundaries in place is essential to your well being and I hope you can figure it out quicker then I did. I won’t get into a long winded sermon about what you need to do because I am sure your Mom already told you and if you wouldn’t listen to her then why in the world would you listen to me.

I will say this, relationships should not take more from you then they give, you are not responsible to carry the burden of stress that does not belong to you and it is okay to distance yourself from toxic people. You can support and encourage your loved ones without indulging in drama, negativity or carrying the entire weight of their world on your shoulders. You can lighten the load that another carries just by being there for them. We are only ever expected to carry what we are able to, financially, spiritually and physically. At the end of the day, everyone is responsible to bear the weight of their burdens. Being mindful of this will allow you to lead a better life.

Put yourself first because you are worthy!

A wise friend just gave me a really good analogy. When the flight attendants are giving the pre-flight instructions prior to take-off they always instruct you to put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others. It is essential that you take care of you. If you do not, you will not be any good to others.

You will find that the right people will remain in your life no matter what, even if they are not present everyday, you are in their thoughts and they quietly cheer you on from afar, just as you do them.

“Everybody needs you, but you need you first, don’t help everyone and neglect yourself. Love your neighbor, as you love yourself, not instead of yourself.

~ @TonyGaskins

You are worth it! Be inspired, simplify and empower! Most of all be W.I.S.E.

xo Chat soon

Michelle

 

 

A Good Life -W.I.S.E

Hi there,

We have reached the end of the January blahs and I have uploaded a Podcast with my journal notes on what I have learned from this months W.I.S.E. Project as well as introducing February W.I.S.E Principles. Check it out HERE

Thanks for following along, choose a good life!

Shit Shit Shit – W.I.S.E. Project 2016

One of the greatest lessons that I have had to learn is to not take everyone else’s shit and put it in my bucket, it turns out I have enough of my own. I have posted this before but choosing to be mindful and happy is a choice we make consciously every single day and I think this serves as a good solid reminder for me and possibly for all of you.

 

“Bucket of Shit” written by Unknown & Adapted by Robin Mohilner

 We all come into this world with two things:

A bucket of shit AND a shovel.

What matters in life is not what causes the shit in our buckets.

What matters is what we do with the shit we have.

Now we have some options for what we can do with our shit and our shovel:

1.) We can spend our life digging through the shit to figure out what it is and where it came from.

The shit won’t change. It will still be shit. But we have every right to sift through our shit and smell it for as long as we want.

2.) We can use our shovel to take our shit and put it in other people’s buckets.

Then we get to say, “I have no shit! This is your shit!”

‎3.) We can stick our shovels into other people’s bucket of shit and use our shovel to carry their shit into our bucket.

Doing this will allow us to take responsibility for everyone elses’ shit.

Everything will be our fault. We will stink and feel bad.

(This is what we do when we take things personally, by the way)

‎4.) We can use our own shovel to protect our bucket of shit to keep other people’s shit out of our bucket and keep ourselves from giving other people the shit that belongs to us.

Now when it comes to the shit itself…we have some options….

We can hide the shit from the world and pretend that we don’t have shit.

We can go around being stinky and unkind to each other.

OR

We can use the shit as fertilizer and plant the things that we desire to grow in our lives.

What you do with your shovel and bucket of shit is up to you.

Be W.I.S.E., be mindful, be happy and don’t take everyone’s shit!!

xo Michelle

THE SHACK

The Shack/The Missy Project

The Shack

Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

The Shack is not a book I would normally buy because it confronts the grief of a father (Mack) after the brutal murder of his young daughter. Having daughters it is a subject matter that I would normally back away from. I was with Haley at her School Book Fair and something drew me to it. I picked it up and put it down several times before deciding to take it home and spend an evening curled up reading.

The Shack confronts grief and heartache in a very real and relatable way. It explores the power of forgiveness, faith, hope, grace and love. It asks questions, it helps you seek and find answers, it shows you beauty and truth and for me reinforced some things that I believed to be true.

The Shack wrestles with the timeless question “Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?”

I became absorbed in this book and I found that the answers that Mack was seeking were often to questions I had asked myself. It took me on a brilliant journey, both compelling and daring, shining a spotlight on things we all struggle with, our faith, our beliefs, our shortcomings…

From beginning to end it painted a vivid picture of human emotion. Sometimes wonderfully eloquent and others deceptive and ugly.

I was captivated, I cried, I was angry, I was justified, I was redeemed, I passed judgment in haste, and I was enlightened.

It is a book that will weave it’s way into your heart and fill up all the cold and empty spaces. I believe in one way or another it will have an impact on you. Powerfully clarifying and gracefully simple, if you read it, you will be changed.

I felt compelled to join the Missy Project to get the word out about this fascinating tale. If you have read let me know what you thought or give it a read and let me know.

Michelle

The Shack/Missy project

Much Ado About Nothing

Photo courtesy of http://www.troll.me.com

I remember a day not very long ago that my goal was to get to 5000 views on my blog. After 5000 I wanted to get to 7000….it is good to have goals right?!

I used to blog everyday but I am spending time writing a book, a project I started long ago and never had the courage to finish. I don’t want to force out a post everyday writing about my problems and posting pictures of my breakfast so I have gone down to posting about once a week (or less…shrugs sheepishly!”)

So without any fanfare, confetti, sparkling lights or applause, this weekend I am proud to say that I surpassed 10, 000 views on my blog. It is a milestone for me and I want to thank each and every one of you who have taken the  time to visit my blog, to comment, to retweet me @ 1000acreheart, to follow me on instagram @ michd74.

I started my blog as an outlet to talk about having a child at the tender age of 16 and giving him up for adoption. The loss and heartache I suffered and the great joy it brought to my life to be reunited with him many years later. As much as it was an outlet for me to explore my feelings and to offer myself closure and forgiveness I was hoping that maybe I could help someone else who was maybe struggling with the same feelings or decisions. The feedback I got has been nothing short of amazing. I learned a lot about myself on this journey and I learned that everyone has a remarkable story to tell. Sometimes our weakness lies not in having fears but in admitting that we are scared or hurting and taking the necessary steps to fix ourselves. For me it was simply acceptance. Accepting that I was exactly where I was supposed to be and though I couldn’t change the past  I needed to be grateful and excited for the present and  very enthusiastic about the future. I have every reason to be. If you are interested and have not read the Thousand Acre Heart Series starts HERE

The way my blog has connected me to people all over the world, funny, smart, intriguing people has been such a pleasure. I really do get joy from talking to you, reading about you and I love it when you leave comments. Comments are validating for a writer, or at least they are for me. Perhaps that makes me a NEEDY writer. I have enjoyed writing about my experiences as a mother, a wife and a friend. Being honest, funny and daring. Being myself entirely. I also have enjoyed your feedback on my fictitious works!

I am getting closer and closer to the big 4-0 everyday (January 15 if you want to send presents) and in that time I have gained some wisdom that I would like to share with you today in celebration of over 10, 000 views in over 55 countries.

1. You can’t have a rational argument with a teenager, they know everything and you are stupid. The only thing you can hope for is that one day they will have their own ungrateful, entitled know-it-all’s and maybe they will feel so bad that they will get you really good Christmas presents.

2. There is a reason why an Esthetician exists. Have you ever had a Brazilian wax? Perhaps you just wanted to surprise your husband on his 40th Birthday which also happened to be Halloween so you were pressed for time!! Ladies’ in the house I am holding up the proverbial Stop sign!! Waxing your feminine fun parts is a delicate matter that should not be done in hurry. If I were to make a video about this experience it would star Sweet Brown saying “Oh Lord it’s a fire!”

3. In reference to the above, don’t spend hours in Hallmark looking for the perfect card for your guy. They don’t care. If you are going to spend time anywhere contemplating what to get your special someone make it the liquor store or adult superstore. They want booze and sex that they don’t have to work for…the dirtier the better.

4. Your mother really did know everything! Isn’t that a kick in the pants?You should have listened!!

5. Do you crave a good argument? Don’t be so concerned with getting the last word. Sometimes we get so focused on winning the argument that we say stupid shit we can’t take back. Sometimes silence really is golden.

6. If you think you are punishing your guy with the silent treatment, think again!!

7. If you spend all of your time looking forward or back you will lose sight of everything in front of you. You can’t store sleep, time, yesterday or tomorrows. Say it now, do it now, live today!

8. Tomatoes are good and good for you. I really just don’t get people who don’t like tomatoes.

9. If you want to be that annoying person don’t change the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. (FUCKER)

10. You’re Shit stinks, I don’t care who you are! Everybody shits and everybody stinks!

Words of wisdom for your Monday night. Thanks for coming by, I hope you come back soon.

xx

Michelle