NOT a crazy cat lady

My cat Aulie is over nine years old. We named her Aulie because my husband picked her up on the side of the Highway when she was just a wee kitten in a place called Aulac, New Brunswick. I didn’t consider myself much of a cat person but my youngest Haley was just a baby when Kirk called to say he had rescued this kitten someone had thrown out of a moving vehicle. She was much too young to be taken from her mother but I guess the disgusting people that disposed of her like she was yesterdays trash didn’t much care.

My husband stopped the truck and trailers he was hauling, a set of Seaboard B-trains loaded with fuel and ran down the dark highway to scoop up the wounded, scared kitten. Although she was tiny and her face was beat up she was a beautiful kitten and he loved her instantly. She didn’t share the same sentiment.

We had Aulie vet checked and got the OK to bring her home to be part of our family. She chose me as her human and likes to shower me with attention. Aulie will on occasion warm to Kirk and the girls, mostly when she is hungry or just in the mood but generally she reserves all of her attention for me.

The problem is she does not like to be held or cuddled. She will lay on me and play with my hair or bang her head into my hands to force me to pet her but she does not like to be held. It’s weird, I always thought it had something to do with her early separation from her mother but some days I just think she is a jerk. She is controlling and likes that our relationship be on her terms only. She often sleeps with me when my husband is away working, sometimes she cannot get close enough to me but I cannot put her in my arms. I have often woke to find her watching me. It’s a little creepy but since I am her human I guess it’s normal…right??

A couple of days ago she got quite annoyed with me because I tried to cuddle her. The nerve of me, she stormed away all sullen and bitchy feline like. She also found a new “human” though it is not human at all. I think she truly feels that my Halloween Skello is her mama. She cuddles into her at every opportunity. I want to put Skello away till next year but I just cannot bare to break Aulie’s heart. If she is not eating or doing her lady business she is cuddling with Skello.

It really is the perfect relationship. She can get as close as she wants and Skello doesn’t try to hold or hinder her. Skello is there when she wants and never leaves. Right now she is cuddled up and as content as can be. I think Aulie has found her happy place. It looks like Skello is getting a Santa hat and sticking around!

Fire in the Sky

My Grampy Miller used to say
Pink sky at night ‘sailors delight’
Pink sky in the morning ‘sailors heed warning’

It’s a crisp morning in the Capital city currently sitting at -11. The good news is that we are expecting sunshine and +4 and the morning sky looks incredible!

My youngest daughter and I just burst out into song singing Trooper “We’re here for a good time! ”

Sending them to school with a belly full of bacon and eggs and a smile.

My coffee is ready…it’s a good morning! !

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If You think you can you’re right, If you think you can’t you’re right too!!

image courtesy of http://www.oprah.com

I used to work with a woman who used every single thing that happened in her life, directly related to her or not as an excuse to be miserable. She had been divorced for several years, so she used being single as a reason for her extreme unhappiness. She was a single mom to a daughter and she held onto her so tight that she sucked the life out of that relationship. Her daughter decided to start a new life in another Canadian city with her boyfriend and her Mother threw an absolute fit, even going as far as trying to guilt her daughter into staying. I silently cheered for the daughter as she told her Mom that it was her life and she was ready to spread her wings. Her mother called her several times a day and complained to her about her pathetic existence. It was sad really. One day I gently told her that she should take this as an opportunity to make changes to make herself happy. Get a hobby, meet people, better herself. She had a reason (very valid to herself) as to why all of those things were impossible. I find that a lot of people who are unhappy make excuses so they can stay that way. I have been guilty in the past of doing it myself.

My friend (you know who you are) told me a story tonight about how she felt bad because everyone in her peer group was getting married and because she was still single it made her feel very down on herself. We have had similar discussions in the past and I have given her some advice, not all ill received but there is always a “But”

I am not single so who am I to say but I am without my spouse a great deal of the time. My husband’s job keeps him away for weeks at a time so I know what it is like to not be a part of a couple all of the time. Our children keep me extremely busy and I dedicate a fair bit of time to ensuring they will be well-rounded, confident individuals. I also try to teach them a lot about independence because I believe very strongly that another person cannot make you happy. Happiness is an inside job. If you are not happy (and it’s not due to medical reasons) then you are the only one who can change it. There are a great deal of people who bring joy to my life, my husband and children included (most days) but none of them are responsible for my happiness. There was a time that I relied heavily on my husband for my happiness and believed that I was responsible for his. A relationship should definitely enhance you, make you better in ways but you do not become half of a person when you become half of a couple so therefore you are not half of a person when you are single. Nobody can make you feel small or insignificant without your permission.

I have a very wise friend whose favorite saying was “You are the architect of your own life, if you are not happy it is time to draw up new plans!” She did so in a very big way. She left a marriage that even though she would probably always hold a little love in her heart for him it wasn’t a relationship that brought her joy. She became a single Mom and a very important role model for her impressionable daughter. She went to school, worked long hours and sacrificed. She had a goal and she knew excuses were not going to pave a golden bridge for her. A job that she once loved took its toll on her. Though it was advantageous to her employer to have her take on the workload of three people for the price of one it was a situation that was not great for her physical or mental health but as a Mom it was easier for her to stay then rock the boat. It was EASIER but she didn’t stay, she researched and she sought out opportunities and now she wakes up everyday to oceans and palm trees and a job that has personal and professional rewards. She broke down barriers, fought stereotypes and became the exception not the rule. She is furthering her education and broadening her horizons. She is still single and it certainly doesn’t make her less of a person, she realizes that her happiness and her life are her own and that is a great thing! She just sent her baby girl off to University, in another country. She had the same initial meltdown and late night tears as I am sure every mother experiences when their nest is emptied but she also got to experience a great deal of pride because she raised a wonderfully bright young woman who loves and respects her mother and because of that she is unafraid to face the world and have her own experiences and seek her own happiness. She has raised a daughter that will not measure her self-worth by physical beauty or whether she is in a relationship or not. She will struggle and make mistakes but they won’t define her, they will present opportunities for her to learn from.

So when I hear someone who is single with no children tell me all the reasons they can’t I want shake them. You can. You are your biggest obstacle!!

There are non-single, parents every where that would LOVE to have your problems. You have the freedom to think of yourself, put your own needs first, have hobbies, explore interesting things! Opportunities don’t always fall out of the sky, sometimes we need to make them. Anything that requires effort has the potential for a great reward!

I think we need to stop short-changing ourselves, we need to believe that we are worthy of everything life has to offer. See the beauty in every day, see the bright side of things and take a couple of big steps outside of our comfort zone (often) and realize that life happens outside of the walls we have built around ourselves. See opportunities, see potential. Say yes more. Stomp on negativity and eliminate negative influences. Choose happiness. Seek reasons to feel good about yourself.

You do not need anyone to save you, but maybe you will find someone to laugh and share with while you are saving yourself!

BE FABULOUS!!!

“Your life is the fruit of your own doing, you have nobody to blame but yourself!” Joseph Carter”

P.S. No excuses Edmonton singles (cough cough)

http://singles.meetup.com/cities/ca/ab/edmonton/

Much Ado About Nothing

Photo courtesy of http://www.troll.me.com

I remember a day not very long ago that my goal was to get to 5000 views on my blog. After 5000 I wanted to get to 7000….it is good to have goals right?!

I used to blog everyday but I am spending time writing a book, a project I started long ago and never had the courage to finish. I don’t want to force out a post everyday writing about my problems and posting pictures of my breakfast so I have gone down to posting about once a week (or less…shrugs sheepishly!”)

So without any fanfare, confetti, sparkling lights or applause, this weekend I am proud to say that I surpassed 10, 000 views on my blog. It is a milestone for me and I want to thank each and every one of you who have taken the  time to visit my blog, to comment, to retweet me @ 1000acreheart, to follow me on instagram @ michd74.

I started my blog as an outlet to talk about having a child at the tender age of 16 and giving him up for adoption. The loss and heartache I suffered and the great joy it brought to my life to be reunited with him many years later. As much as it was an outlet for me to explore my feelings and to offer myself closure and forgiveness I was hoping that maybe I could help someone else who was maybe struggling with the same feelings or decisions. The feedback I got has been nothing short of amazing. I learned a lot about myself on this journey and I learned that everyone has a remarkable story to tell. Sometimes our weakness lies not in having fears but in admitting that we are scared or hurting and taking the necessary steps to fix ourselves. For me it was simply acceptance. Accepting that I was exactly where I was supposed to be and though I couldn’t change the past  I needed to be grateful and excited for the present and  very enthusiastic about the future. I have every reason to be. If you are interested and have not read the Thousand Acre Heart Series starts HERE

The way my blog has connected me to people all over the world, funny, smart, intriguing people has been such a pleasure. I really do get joy from talking to you, reading about you and I love it when you leave comments. Comments are validating for a writer, or at least they are for me. Perhaps that makes me a NEEDY writer. I have enjoyed writing about my experiences as a mother, a wife and a friend. Being honest, funny and daring. Being myself entirely. I also have enjoyed your feedback on my fictitious works!

I am getting closer and closer to the big 4-0 everyday (January 15 if you want to send presents) and in that time I have gained some wisdom that I would like to share with you today in celebration of over 10, 000 views in over 55 countries.

1. You can’t have a rational argument with a teenager, they know everything and you are stupid. The only thing you can hope for is that one day they will have their own ungrateful, entitled know-it-all’s and maybe they will feel so bad that they will get you really good Christmas presents.

2. There is a reason why an Esthetician exists. Have you ever had a Brazilian wax? Perhaps you just wanted to surprise your husband on his 40th Birthday which also happened to be Halloween so you were pressed for time!! Ladies’ in the house I am holding up the proverbial Stop sign!! Waxing your feminine fun parts is a delicate matter that should not be done in hurry. If I were to make a video about this experience it would star Sweet Brown saying “Oh Lord it’s a fire!”

3. In reference to the above, don’t spend hours in Hallmark looking for the perfect card for your guy. They don’t care. If you are going to spend time anywhere contemplating what to get your special someone make it the liquor store or adult superstore. They want booze and sex that they don’t have to work for…the dirtier the better.

4. Your mother really did know everything! Isn’t that a kick in the pants?You should have listened!!

5. Do you crave a good argument? Don’t be so concerned with getting the last word. Sometimes we get so focused on winning the argument that we say stupid shit we can’t take back. Sometimes silence really is golden.

6. If you think you are punishing your guy with the silent treatment, think again!!

7. If you spend all of your time looking forward or back you will lose sight of everything in front of you. You can’t store sleep, time, yesterday or tomorrows. Say it now, do it now, live today!

8. Tomatoes are good and good for you. I really just don’t get people who don’t like tomatoes.

9. If you want to be that annoying person don’t change the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. (FUCKER)

10. You’re Shit stinks, I don’t care who you are! Everybody shits and everybody stinks!

Words of wisdom for your Monday night. Thanks for coming by, I hope you come back soon.

xx

Michelle

My life in song

I was sifting through photos on my phone and realized that three times since Labor Day I have worn white. Not just a little white, white from head to toe. In my defense until today the weather in Edmonton has been in the high twenties so it has been difficult to accept that summer is over. Anyways, I am not sure who I am to apologize for this fashion faux pas but here it is my sincerest apologies. I hope that my oversight can be overlooked.

Now that that is out of the way….I am supposed to be starting a Time Management course but alas I will do anything to waste time and I am at my daughter’s Voice lesson with no Wi-Fi. So there!

I had mentioned in my Hole in the World post last week (if you haven’t read you can read HERE) that most of my life could be described in an Eagles song, whose couldn’t really? Always up to the challenge I drew some random Eagles songs out of a hat and I am going to type the first thing that comes to mind.

1. The Long Run– I hate to run out of toilet paper. It’s one of those things that I don’t like to even get close to running out of. I can let the milk run out, but not the toilet paper. It stems from having roommates throughout the years that NEVER EVER bought toilet paper and if I went away for a couple of days I would inevitably come back to NO toilet paper. I always wish there was a “Long run” of toilet paper, the roll never emptied, it would never run out!
2. Victim of Love-We have all been a Victim of Love at one time (or several). I became a victim when I was about 12 weeks pregnant with Morgan. I started to turn my nose at things that I once loved. Friday night Nacho night was banished from our house altogether and smells that once soothed me made my stomach sour. I can’t remember how it happened but I fell hard and fast. The object of my affection was Heavenly Hash Ice Cream with sliced up bananas. Yummm. Calcium and potassium. Our food affair continued every night until after Morgan’s birth and then eventually fizzled.
3. After the Thrill Is Gone-As you can see from above the delectable affair fizzled, “After the thrill was gone” the affects were lasting. They lasted on my stomach, ass and thighs.
4. I Can’t Tell You Why-There are lots of things about me that I would like to examine but I just “Can’t tell You Why”. Why do I cry at sad movies, why do I cry at happy endings, why do I panic when approaching a traffic circle, why do I dream that I am a CIA agent and then wake up exhausted with bruises? Why do I still have a sooky blanket? I Can’t Tell You Why!
5. Wasted Time-Nobody knows how to waste time like me but “sometimes wasted time can be time well wasted” If I enjoyed it was it really “Wasted Time”?
6. Take it to the Limit-I got my first credit card at 19. I had it for quite a while before I used it. I thought it was a good idea to keep a hold of it for emergencies. One day Visa called and asked me if there was a problem with my card. I explained that I was just saving it for emergencies. The lady on the other end of the phone seemed mystified, maybe even a little offended. I waited for two days and then started spending. I decided to “Take it to the Limit”.
7. Busy Being Fabulous-This is the reason why I have trouble managing my time “I’m just too busy being fabulous!”
8. New Kid In Town-I have been the New Kid in Town. It can be exciting and scary. It is what it is. When I was in grade three I moved and started a new school. There were already two Michelle’s in my class so the teacher decided to call me by my middle name which is Anne. I hated it, I was Michelle, not Anne. I felt so out of place and I was miserable. I didn’t tell my mom so she wasn’t aware for several weeks until the teacher called because I had locked myself in the class washroom crying.
9. Get Over it– Marital advice “Get over it” I wish I had had this advice years ago during the early years of my marriage. I spent so much time holding onto hurt and anger that I never allowed myself a lot of room to be happy. If you want to be happy “Get Over it or Get out!”
10. Tequila Sunrise-Who hasn’t seen one of these? I was about 20. I lived in London, Ontario and I was crazy about this guy I was dating. My friend and I joined him at a hotel bar one night where his friend was bartending. Someone mentioned tequila and I was game. We started with shots and then his bartender friend just started free pouring cups full. That is really all I remember except for waking up in my shower in the wee morning hours. Tequila makes me feel dirty! Our romance eventually faded away but we would always have “Cuervo Gold”

That’s all I wrote.